When to stop...

That is the question I've been pondering inside for the past few weeks...moreso this week. So much has been going on; so many things to do; so many places to be. "Home" is just a figment of my imagination. This blog may sound kinda down and I apologize in advance for that...this is just where I am right now and I am reasoning that jotting down the way I feel may help me feel somewhat better. One can only hope! I guess between working a full time job, building a house, being involved in church activities, and just having family, that the "you" time just manages to disappear into an oblivion. I know that's when you're supposed to "make" time for you but HOW?! My thoughts are foggy, my body drained and lately I have zero motivation to do simple things like brush my teeth or even eat. I want to spend a whole day in the bed with the covers pulled over my head and turn off every cell phone. But at the same time I don't want to be anywhere near the camper...I want to be far, far away doing something fun, relaxing and enjoyable. But I really don't even know what that is. Trust me, I am completely thankful for where I am in my life right now. I know that the reason I am living in a camper is b/c I am building a beautiful house and soon I will be able to live in my beautiful house. I know the reason I am not getting a vacation this year is b/c I am going back to Uganda on a mission trip and the souls that will be transformed is worth way more than a selfish vacation. I am thankful that we have so many extracurricular activities going on b/c we are able to impact the lives of young people. I think it all just boils down to being physically, mentally and emotionally drained and exhausted. I know this is just a temporary place for me right now and eventually life will be back to somewhat normalcy. I just need a getaway that I know I can't have. I am using the rest of my vacation days at work to go to Uganda. We had plans to go to Orlando for a week and I was going to get to visit my grandmother, whom I haven't seen in 4 years. I think I'm just disappointed that I can't do both...have my cake and eat it too. I guess I will just be most relieved when the house is finished and I can have more space to just relax at home, cook a healthy dinner, sit on my back deck and watch the deer graze in the woods, have some quiet time, spend quality time with Jordan without having so much on his mind, and just BE. But I'm ok and I'll be ok...just looking for when to stop...when I can. :O)