One year ago today, I was lying in a hospital bed hooked up to monitors and I.V.'s anxiously awaiting the arrival of my first baby. Four weeks earlier than the expected due date and as unprepared as I ever prepared to be! Blood pressure issues/preeclampsia sent me to my doctor the afternoon of August 4th. What I expected to be instructions of bedrest or some quick medicinal intake to keep it under control, I was struck with, "I need you to be in Labor & Delivery at 4:30 this afternoon. We'll induce first thing in the morning."
Seriously?! Immediately, I was flooded with panic. I have to get back to work and give Kim, my co-worker, the last minute instructions on what to do when I'm on maternity leave. I don't have my bags packed. I didn't wash Ava's new outfit for her to come home in. What about this? What about that? Aaah!!! Through the panic and anxiety, I was also full of anticipation and expectation for the very thing I had waited what seemed an eternity for, was finally in my arms. I could hardly wait for my eyes to behold the most precious gift I could ever have been given.
Labor and delivery NEVER goes as planned, expected or even hoped. My plan was for no epidural. I had "come from a long line of easy births" as my mother told me! I do have a high tolerance for pain so I really felt I could manage. I do, honestly, believe that had I not been surviving on no sleep in 24 hours that I could have managed just fine without the epidural. However, it was 1pm, 4cm dilated and I was worn out from exhaustion already. Since I didn't have a specific time of when I could expect to deliver I felt it might be a good idea to get the epidural and maybe I could rest. Well, the epidural was nice and brought relief but still no rest. So, baby #2 will be my attempt for no epidural! Guess we'll see how that goes!
My doctor discussed the possibility of a c-section if I didn't make any more progress but my cervix was thinning more with each evaluation so she let me continue to progress. About 7:45pm the nurse allowed me to start pushing. Once Ava crowned the nurse paged for my doctor to come. We waited and waited...she must have taken a dinner break! Ha! At 8:03pm on August 5, 2009, Ava made her grand entrance.
So, today is the marking of the first year of her life! Today I celebrate the awesomeness of my beautiful daughter. There are feelings and emotions inside that I know only another mother can understand. She is the definition of who I am. One of the reasons I was born. Every thought contains her. She is loved beyond the comprehension of the word itself. What astounds me even more is to know that I am loved by my Heavenly Father even more than I love HER and He loves HER even MORE than I can love her. How can one contain so much LOVE? He IS love! This has been the most life changing year of my life...and the BEST year of my life! I look to the days yet to come with a new hope, a new expectation and more days of watching my daughter grow...bloom and blossom!
So Happy Birthday my little Pumpkin Head! Thank you for being mine and being the sweetest little thing I ever could have hoped for. You will forever be loved unconditionally, just as you are. You will always be the smile on my face and the sparkle in my eyes. You are Daddy's Little Girl and Mommy's World...loved inside, outside, upside, downside and all around!
*Hugs & Kisses to you!*
8 Days old
To One Year Old
